Committed to the Alien Read online

  “There you are.” A familiar, yet unfamiliar voice rings in my ears, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. This isn’t Glykoran’s voice. It’s not Hujun’s or Azan’s either, who are some of the few aliens I trust. I jolt upward and spin around, only to find that Iriel has followed me back to the Preparation Room. He grins, but it seems more like a leer, and I immediately grow defensive. He’s never tried anything before, but that may be only because I spent so much time with Glykoran.

  Lately, I’m always alone.

  Iriel saunters in, and I wince, half-expecting him to touch me or try some oh-so-charming tactic to let me know he’s available. But he doesn’t, instead moving to the cabinet and grabbing a deep purple colored bar instead. I sit up straighter at the counter, but he keeps his distance.

  “I thought you’d be at Glykoran’s by now.”

  He takes a large bite from the bar, and I can’t resist scrunching up my nose. I hate that I’m always so on edge around Iriel, but he honestly creeps me out. I wish Glykoran were here. I always felt safe around him, which was so special because I’ve found that there’s no reason to trust any aliens. Most of my career has been about humiliation. I’ve been tied to chandeliers and paraded around on a leash. There was no reason to believe these Sidyths were any different. But they are. Most of them anyway. Iriel is one of the few who brings back memories of the past. A past I would much rather leave there.

  “I’ll be going shortly.” I reach for my bar so I can fill the air with something other than Iriel’s soft breathing and the chewing of his purple bar. I feel like I’m suffocating right now. Iriel’s not going to do anything to me. At least I don’t think so. Prince Korben would probably hang him from a tree if he damaged what he was trying to build and prove here on Hethdiss. Still, it’s hard not to be intimidated.

  Physically, Iriel’s like the rest of the Sidyths. He’s seven feet tall, and intense angry shade of blue, scaled, and built like a professional athlete. If he wanted to do anything, I would be powerless to stop him.

  “Just wanted to stop and get a little snack, yes?”

  “Sure.” I don’t like how Iriel is looking at me now. Just hearing him say the word snack sends a chill up my spine. He looks at me the way so many of my client’s looked at me — a warm hole to bury their cock into. I hate my job. Some of the girls are okay with their supposed title as Intergalactic Call-Girl, but I’ve never grown used to it. I never imagined that my life would come to this. One minute, I was observing a Red-Headed Woodpecker, and the next I was in a collar and leash. Some of the girls may signed up for this line of work, but I sure as fuck did not.

  For the most part, this is the best assignment I’ve ever had.

  Until Glykoran lost everything, I wasn’t nearly as miserable as I tried to make it seem. Most of the males left me alone, I happen to like the gloomy weather, and I had Glykoran – who was the sexiest thing since my Nan’s garlic naan.

  That’s all changed now. Glykoran is barely around to keep the other males from sniffing around me, and Iriel is, by far, the most curious.

  “I don’t know if he’s going to recover from this.” Iriel takes a step to close the gap between us. I sit up straighter in my chair, but Iriel is either relentless, or just fucking rude. “Losing a mate and a sprog? It’s been many passings, and he still longs for them. I do not think he’ll ever be the same.”

  Does he think I don’t know that? Furthermore, does he think I don’t understand what he’s trying to say? He won’t recover, Celeste. He’ll never look at you the way you want him to. You should move on. Move on… to me. I swallow hard. I don’t like this feeling. Iriel looking at me now is too much like the looks I used to get on my assignment with Entla royalty. They attempted to be kind and caring, but at the end of the day all they wanted was pleasure. That’s what they all want at the end of the day. The prickles on the back of my neck get pricklier as Iriel leans across the counter. I don’t have a tongue like a Sidyth, but I don’t need one to know what’s on Iriel’s mind. What he wants.

  “There are others here, you know. If you are lonely.”

  “I’m not lonely.” My voice sounds strange in my head. Like it doesn’t even belong to me. I keep my eyes trained on the counter, feeling my submissive nature sinking in. I remember how Entlas wouldn’t let me look them in the eye. They expected soft and docile responses to their requests. If Iriel asked me to pleasure him, I’m not sure I’d be able to say no. He’s caught me in a vulnerable space, and without someone to help me out here, I feel like a lamb under a lion’s gaze.

  “If you had someone to take your mind off Glykoran, we could all see you smile again. I’d like to see you smile.” I lift my chin, and sure enough, Iriel’s even closer, flashing a grin at me. It’s terrifying because on each side of his mouth are two enormous canines. I quickly lower my head. “Let me take you for a walk, See-Less—”

  “There you are!”

  Iriel and I jump, surprised at the new voice, and I hop off the barstool, feeling I have an escape opening.

  “M-Mia?” I croak, shocked to find the rail-thin Latina in the doorway. She spends most of her time at the second lair, so it’s odd to see her here. Her black eyes narrow, and she saunters in, and I can’t for the life of me figure out what she’s doing. Iriel straightens though, narrowing his eyes.

  “It is raining hard today, Me-ah,” he says, sounding a bit grumpy.

  “Nothing gets by you, does it?”

  “You should stay inside.”

  “I wanted to go for a walk.”

  “Walk inside your lair.”

  “Ahh, but you guys have better food, little mermaid.”

  Iriel hisses. “You call me this, often. I do not understand what it means, Me-ah.”

  “Then I suppose you should find out, huh?”

  She sounds so confident and unafraid that I want to chastise myself for feeling any fear. It’s evident Mia’s not the least bit afraid of Iriel, but maybe that’s because she doesn’t have the same past as me. I know so little about most of the girls over at the second lair. Mia’s no exception. I know she’s Hispanic and has long, flowing black hair and eyes to match. She’s also the skinniest female here by far and probably a few years younger than York or me, making her in her early twenties. I’m also pretty sure she’s not afraid of Sidyths. That must be nice. She sweeps past Iriel as though nothing in the world bothers her, seizes a piece of flat pink bread and holds it up to her lips.

  I notice Iriel’s expression. “If you need to walk around, as you say, Me-ah, then you should ask one of the males to accompany you.”

  “Pass, little mermaid.” She grins at him, and I know she’s thinking about how great it is that Prince Korben brought in a translator for her. It’s an old, second-hand model, but that has to be better than hearing nothing at all. “I’m a big girl, Iriel. I can take care of myself.”

  His eyebrows shoot skyward. “You are a human female. A fragile one at that.”

  She blows a raspberry through her brilliant white teeth. “And you, sir, are a sexist.”

  Iriel hisses. “You are one of the most disrespectful—”

  “You know what?” I interrupt before I have to be a part of whatever argument they’re about to have. “I think I’m going to head out.”

  “To check on Glykoran?” Iriel asks, side-stepping so he can block my way. I try lifting my chin, but the sheer size and dominance of him leave me back to focusing on my feet. “You should leave him be. If he wants to speak to you, he will.”

  “Follow your own advice,” Mia calls from the opposite side of the room.

  Iriel darts back around. “What did you say, female?”

  “I said, little mermaid, to follow your own advice. She’s trying to get away from you. Move your big, dumb ass out of her way and let her past. If she wants to check on Glykoran, that’s her own business. Why don’t you stay the fuck out of it?”

  Iriel snarls but moves slightly so I can duck under his chin and out the door. I don’t waste another moment, but I hear the two of them continuing to argue. I can’t get over it. Mia looks so frail. I don’t know how she finds the courage to stand up to a brute like Iriel. But now that I’m free from his gaze, I’m so thankful she was there. I felt myself caving to his will. Becoming the woman I was on assignments with males who terrified me. I have to be more careful around Iriel. He knows he can get to me.

  I stride down the dark halls and consider stopping by Glykoran’s lair, but surprisingly decide against it. The Gathering Room should be pretty bare, most of the females have mates now, and a few of them have children. That would make for a good distraction. I would love to see little Kyeth walking around, or Hujun holding Junis. I need to get my mind off Iriel and his intimidating presence. It’s apparent I’ve fallen under his attention, and I can’t think of anything I want less.

  I miss Glykoran.

  I miss standing guard in front of the central lair opening. I miss our chats and how he always used to say I should find someone else to talk to. He’s older than me. I always knew that. He has to be by at least ten years, but I never minded. I often dreamed about being with him, but I knew it was never meant to be. He was married. He had a child. And I see how dedicated the other Sidyths are to their mates. Of course, I’m attracted to the one Sidyth I can’t have. Or maybe, that was part of his appeal at first. I never had to worry about him wanting me back. He was safe. I could allow myself to imagine what it would be like being with him. I didn’t ever expect him to do anything. After all, nothing ever works out for me, at least not since aliens abducted me.

  Until it did work out.

  But this isn’t what I wanted. The alien I’ve always wanted is technically back on the market, but there’s no way I can have him now. He’l
l forever mourn the loss of his family. And that’s fine. He should be allowed to do whatever he needs to. But it’s been over a year, and I still can’t leave him alone. He’s a widow, Celeste. The last thing he’s looking for is love. He’s barely spoken to you for over a year. It’s time to move on. But I know I won’t do it. He’s always turned to me for friendship, but I can offer him so much more if he would open his heart to the possibility.

  I shouldn’t think about this kind of stuff. Fantasies of being with Glykoran are a waste of time if he won’t even look in my direction.

  Poking my head in the Gathering Room opening, I see that it is, in fact, full of life. Most of the girls are meandering around the large space, and even grumpy-ass Lacey can’t resist smiling when some the older infants toddle up to her. Chocal, the strange newcomer is sitting dangerously close to her. How is Lacey not afraid? She hates all males, alien, human, whatever. I shrug it off. Everyone’s moving on with their lives. And while they all understand that Glykoran’s situation is unique, they’re giving him the space he needs to recover.

  I amble into the room and as soon as my ass hits the floor, York’s son, Yazrik waddles up and presses his snotty, light blue face into my knee. York shrieks and tries to pry him away, but I say it’s all right. I like having children surrounding me. It gives me confidence to think one day, I could be an okay mother.

  The idea should make me smile, but deep down, it makes me want to cry.

  The only being I’d want as the father of my children will barely talk to me. Barely look in my direction. No. It’s best to enjoy what the others have.

  But sometimes it’s challenging to get excited about new life when only memories of death surround the one I love.

  Chapter Two

  Glykoran

  She looks happy today.

  Briefly, I consider going in to speak with her, but when a wide, warm smile crosses her face, I force myself to keep moving. I should leave her alone. I’m sure Iriel is excited to have another shot for a human female of his own, but I can’t bring myself to stake a claim on Celeste. I have no right. I’ve lost everything once. The possibility of losing everything again fills me with so much fear I can barely keep my breath. I can scarcely bring myself to speak to Celeste. I have to ignore her as much as I can because the feelings I have are so wrong. She fills me with longing. Sometimes when I observe her from afar lately, I barely think of about Charah and Tanyis.

  Charah would want me to find happiness, and to move forward. To accept that she and our little one are gone, and no amount of grief will bring them back.

  I shouldn’t look at Celeste until my heart and body cry out of her so profoundly that I have to return to my lair and focus on my family. For many passings, I cried over the loss of Charah and Tanyis. But lately, I’m frustrated because I don’t think I think of them enough. I find myself missing the company of the human female who sleeps outside my lair. I think about claiming her. Then I feel terrible all over again because I have no right. I had a mate. I had a sprog. I lived my life with them as best I could. I protected them when I chose exile. I don’t deserve to start over again at my age. Not when so many of my brothers never had what I’ve already had and lost.

  The look on Celeste’s brown face sends a stabbing pain to my chest, and I move away from the Gathering Room before I find the courage to speak to her. Many of my unmated brothers are interested in her because we haven’t spent much time together since I lost everything. I hate it. Celeste should be with me. It’s always been evident that she’s wanted me a mate, but I’m not the same male I was. I’m older. My hair is grayer than my younger brothers’. There are lines around my tired, golden eyes, and mouth. I’m a widower. She should want nothing to do with me now, but I know that she still cares.

  I love and hate that.

  Heading back to my lair, I notice my brothers eying me warily as I go past. They want to ask me how I’m doing. They want to see if I’m going to claim Celeste as my Chosen mate, and if not, is it all right if they try for themselves.

  Iriel, who’s disposition always puts me in a bad mood, has been paying much closer attention to her lately. I’ve seen him following her around, but I suppose I am no better because I follow both him and Celeste to make sure he doesn’t try anything inappropriate. He hasn’t, but he grows more aggressive with each suns rising. It’s only a matter of time before he propositions her officially.

  Luckily, I do not have to worry about all my brothers. Prince Korben, Azan and Hujun all have mates of their own, and their sprogs are a beautiful mix of both species. Some are light blue, and some are dark. Some look more human and others, more Sidyth. They all make me long for my Tanyis. She’s beautiful. She was beautiful. I sniff the threatening tears away, tired of crying. It’s been so long. I’ve missed so much. There are six sprogs on Hethdiss, and the pale-haired female must be due any day now. It is an exciting time despite exile. Everything Prince Korben wanted. And yet, I find I cannot bring myself to be part of it. How can I hold someone else’s sprog knowing mine is with the Goddess? It would be a betrayal.

  And so, as much as I long to hold a little one in my arms, I leave it be.

  “She looks well today.” Chentan appears beside me and easily matches his stride with mine.

  “She does.” The words are sour on my tongue, and I hate the jealousy I feel when thinking about Celeste’s soft expression. I imagine her with a sprog of her own, and it fills me with such pride and longing that I force myself to stop. I had that life. I’ve lost that life. There’s no reason to think I could have that all again.

  Chentan continues to walk beside me, and I observe him out of the corner of my eye. Chentan is one of my brothers who is particularly interested in Celeste. I should be happy about this. He is a good male. He has helped the human females safely give birth to their sprogs and makes sure the rest of us remain healthy. He is not much younger than me and has no mate of his own. He would be an excellent match for Celeste. They are both wise. They would have much to speak about, and their sprogs would be some of the most beautiful on Hethdiss.

  “Something does not please you, Glykoran?” he asks.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “You are hissing.”

  I clear my throat, hating that I’ve become so transparent since the loss of my family. Chentan is right, though. I am hissing. Because despite how perfect a match he and Celeste would be, the idea fills me with such a rage I cannot control it.

  “Iriel is interested in her,” Chentan says. “You know this, yes?”

  I swallow deeply. “Y-yes. I am aware.”

  “How does that make you feel?”

  How does it make me feel? I barely manage to resist hissing again. How does Chentan think it makes me feel? Celeste and I have been companions since the ship first brought in twenty human females for Prince Korben’s mating project. She is one I am closest to – or at least, she used to be. Now, I can barely look at her without feeling ashamed for what happens to my body. I long for her. I want her. I need her. At the back of my mind, Celeste belongs to me. Despite having no right to claim her when I had a family, I certainly have no right to claim her now that I have lost one.

  “Iriel can do whatever he likes. I will not interfere with his choice in yet another possible Chosen mate.”

  “It does not upset you that she could be interested in another male?”

  Is Chentan purposely trying to upset me? I try increasing my gait, but he won’t so easily let me escape. I don’t want to think about Celeste and the jealous rage I go into whenever I think about her with one of my brothers. “Why are you asking me this, Chentan?”

  He lifts his chin. “I am interested in her as well,” he says, sounding a bit irritated. “I need to know you will be okay if I were to officially pursue her.”